At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
