you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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