O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
