i just had sex bonerless
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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