News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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