youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
