Your tits are I can't wait for
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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