I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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