I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
