talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
