loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize