He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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