Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize