He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
