Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize