did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
