i already hear my dad disowning me
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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