DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
