suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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