It's Friday. Sex?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
