I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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