well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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