I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
