And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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