I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
