he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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