So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
as a side note pls kill me
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
