your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
