Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
don't judge my taste in strippers
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
