i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
