I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She bit a glass in half.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
