thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
