Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
