and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
