Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
