Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I made him laugh his dick is mine
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
