Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
