I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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