I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
