11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
NoShamevember. You game?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
