he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
