The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize