ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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