census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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