checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
