Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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