so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The Olympian is in my bed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize