yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I would fuck him just for his dog
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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