I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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