Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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