It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
