2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
