it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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