Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
