Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
