Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
