mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
