Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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