did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize