Christians are straight up FREAKS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Ladies don't puke and tell
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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