Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
