mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
